evil bitch cant connect....shes a smartass and refuses to disable her firewall...one of the first things we gotta ask to diagnose connection problems...not only do ya gotta disable it but uninstall it and EDIT ALL of it from the registry i tell her...
she goes ballistic on me and demands a supervisior.."why do i have to do that,, and why does your isp probe my modem several times a day?" we do it to see if its alive its SOP for all our customers i tell her...but she keeps insisting on a supervisor so i fix her ass up with one...mine:) my sup drills her for almost an hr on udp probes,ports,kiddiescripts and then busts her for running a business on a residential account:) MORAL: shaddup and do what we say...you really DON'T want to talk to a supervisor...not only do they know their shit but they are MAD from the getgo that you dared to even ASK for them:) in closing..she removed firewall and was able to connect instantly (like i fuckin told her in the first place) but lost her accnt for abuse:)
posted by Hack Saw at
12:05 PM
tonite cool call...mom and dad cant connect...they are LOST...so they call in the 9 year old son to do the repairs as i lead him via telephone.
i tell im to rip and reinstall the tcip stack...he says "i thought that was it" and does it without any help...then proceeds to discuss his slackware scripts hes writing for linux. holy shit the kids a danger to society when he get older i bet...hes designed security apps and even writes java at 9:)
posted by Hack Saw at
9:30 PM
caller is FRANTIC..and wants a tech to come out to her house andfix her cable...ohh its working alright..."some hacker has changed my homepage!!!"" "Everytime i open the browser it goes to a fortune city homepage...you told me not to install a firewall and look at whats happened!!!" ..........as i try to explain to her its not a hacker but an active x auto install thing thats makin her homepage change she becomes more and more irate and fearful and then starts cussing me for getting her into this "mess" as i suggest she delete cookies she hangs up CRYING
posted by Hack Saw at
2:48 PM
when you call suport...keep in mind these 5 things..1. we are massively overworked and underpaid 2.we HAVE heard it ALL before
3.Its a real struggle to actually give a RATSASS about your tiny little problem 4. we are on cheapass computers with slow connections just like you are and we hate them too 5.if you cant connect..or get your email...civilization as we know it will NOT end
posted by Hack Saw at
12:00 PM
i get a call from a woman...totally BEYOND my support bounds...."My husbands using the cable to chat with and send email to other women..i cant get him to cancel it or stop...what can i do?" Feeling particularly helpful that day, i suggest she download SnapshotSpy, and run it on the pc...totally indetectable and it records all usage, chats and addresses..lol i know as she thanks me and hangs up i have pretty much fried her hubbys ass in divorce court:) hey we are supposed to be helpful in any circumstances right?:)
posted by Hack Saw at
10:59 AM
hip surfer dude call me up..."hey im not gettin all my email that people are sending me" this guys system is set to check his email EVERY 30 SECONDS and is using it instead of having a phone. He proceeds to make a federal case out of missing 2 or 3 emails and lectures me for 20 min about just how important it is he get his mail...apparently unaware he could not have called anyone on earth who could have CARED LESS about his concerns jeez get a phone or a backup email fer christs sake ya moron
posted by Hack Saw at
10:53 AM
cheapskate schedulers decide we have too much free time to fuckoff and websurf etc...so they cut back on agents by 1/2...the 2nd day of this grand experiment...we lose Tampa Bay,Detroit, Fresno,Jacksonville and Newark all in about a 30 minute period..all cables down...needless to say the phones almost melt under the onslaught of THOUSANDS of calls and us with no one there to handle them. I end up working 15 hrs that day with them begging me to say "just one more hr pleeeese""
posted by Hack Saw at
10:46 AM
yet another old hag calls.."Your cable modem has given my cat cancer! he sleeps right beside it and now the vet says hes got feline lymphoma" after muting myself and laughing my ass off for a few minutes..i asked her how old the cat was...like 17 years old! thats one hell of an ancient cat if ya ask me..i told her hey its a modem not a cellphone and its rather unlikely it can cause cancer...she says "well lets see what my lawyer has to say about that".....all i can say is good luck suing Time-Warner/Mediaone/AT&T...i hope hes one hell of a lawyer:) get rid of the modem if thats what ya think
posted by Hack Saw at
10:40 AM 
