The world is full of stupid people....

What happens when you take an Texan biker, and put him behind a tech support number?

You get tales of idiocy, or course...

Shit hits the fan....i do the mario andretti thing to get to work barely on time..and soon as i walk in i see techs looking like their mama died...whats up i ask..."we lost the entire email servers for atlanta,el paso, austin and san antonio" holy shit i wanna go home soon as i hear that.. some phones have like 180 ppl in que waiting in the red meltdown stage.....i acutally hear one harried tech behind me shreikin to a customer "what the fuck do you expect me to do about it" i sign on at 8am and am in the "event que" (a screaming red nightmare of NON-STOP fast as you can handle em calls) Some customers are screaming,crying,freaking out when they here they are NOT gonna get their email today...squalling they want a supervisor, they are gonna cancel, couple even sound like they may die without email.(good fuckin riddance whiners) so its utter chaos as a wailing and gnashing of teeth overwhelms the facility--and on the 2nd day of this unholy torture the whiteboard pops up an update--mail in some areas may not be restored for WEEKS...betting pools begin to form among veterans about who will crack or quit first
posted by Hack Saw at 7:42 AM- Discuss this post-

old guy calls up..his shits running pretty slow...he knows its OUR fault too and proceeds to lecture me for 15 minutes about it..when he finally shuts up and listens to my instructions i find the source of the problem...his friggin disc cache in IE is..get this..6 GIGS....doh a new record...imagine your pc scanning a 6 gig cache everytime you load a web page.."ah sir hows about we change that to say..15mb" he does..and suddenly decides he dosent want to cancel his service after all..
posted by Hack Saw at 9:07 AM- Discuss this post-

sometimes i pity "end users"...they call me when they have ANY pc problems...even if their cable works fine..."my printer wont print" ....now what the fuck does that have to do with your cable connection?? i get people every day that complain their computer runs slow..ever heard of defrag there sherlock? astoundingly about 20% of users actually defrag their hd...one lady had her gateway 5 years..never formatted..never defragged...never even scandisked the thing...and was pretty skeptical when i suggested it...i had to show her where it was and how to do it..and i do this on a daily basis cause users cant understand basic maintainence...most techs agree there needs to be a liscense or permit to buy a pc.."no sir you cant have one you are too stupid..study up and call us back when the wizard of oz gives you a brain"
posted by Hack Saw at 9:01 AM- Discuss this post-

keep in mind when you call tech support...all of us in the industry have AHT...average handle time...that means we get hosed if we dont fix your problem or get the hell rid of you in a certian time limit...gettin mad or not co operating is just gonna screw ya in the long run..and dont bother tellin us about your friends connection and how fast that is..or the weather there...stick to the problem..if you really want help make sure u read the manual first...have a remote grasp of what the hells wrong..and your own operating system and configuration...remember we get rewarded whether we help ya or just get rid of you on time...some lazy techs are masters of that fine art.."oh you have to call microsoft support for help on that..cya"
posted by Hack Saw at 8:52 AM- Discuss this post-

mr mcse calls in, bitches about lousey service (as usual) and everything i offer to try to get him connected he says "oh that wont work i have done this 100 times..i KNOW what im doing" hey holmes your fuckin cable light is NOT on...has it occurred to you that you're not EVEN recieving our signal? is there any sense in ripping your network to bits over and over at this point ? wise the hell up and let a service tech come maybe come run a new line and connect your stupid ass. "but im network certified and an mcse" well listen up i got 2 friggin weeks of training..work for well under the minimum helpdesk pay..and even i know you aint gonna fix it unless you dig out your ladder and climb a pole ya dumbass...i transfer him to service even tho hes still whining
posted by Hack Saw at 8:45 AM- Discuss this post-