Hacksaw's Tech Support |
|
|
The world is full of stupid people.... What happens when you take an Texan biker, and put him behind a tech support number? You get tales of idiocy, or course...
|
Wednesday, March 14, 2001
im off so if you just CAN'T get enuff of this crap go read this guys page he has it as bad as i do;-) - Discuss this post- Monday, March 12, 2001
Customer: I have not installed anything new on my computer. Real Meaning: I just installed three different versions of some crappy shareware application that was put together by a third grader. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I do not have any applications open. Real Meaning: I have several anti-virus and disk cleanup applications running in the background, but I am too stupid to realize that these are actually applications and that they don't need to be up in a window to be running. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I followed your directions, but I do not see that on my screen. Real Meaning: I was not following your directions. I immediately jumped to the place I thought you would want me to be. I was also playing Solitaire while you were telling me what to do. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I am a computer tech too. You can speak technical with me. I will understand you. Real Meaning: I think that I know more than I really do. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: Yes, I have tried restarting my computer Real Meaning: I have not restarted my computer to try to resolve the problem. I do not want to seem like an idiot because that step is too obvious for me to have overlooked. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: I really need to get this problem solved. I cannot run my business without a fully operational computer. Real Meaning: I have 4 gigabytes of nude girls under the age of 18 on my computer and I must be able to view them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Customer: But I don't have the time to send my computer in for repair. I have a business to run. Real Meaning: I do not want to send my computer in for repair because I am scared you will find the 4 gigabytes of nude girls under the age of 18 on my hard drive.
10 I will need to do some research on this, I will give you a call back later. (Customer never gets a call back) 9 Not supported, you’ll need to contact the third party software manufacturer. 8 Not supported, you’ll need to contact the third party hardware manufacturer. 7 Contact our Customer Service Department. 6 Call AOL 5 Run Scandisk and Disk Defragmenter, that should fix the problem. Call back when it finishes if you still have the same problem. 4 Yeah, download that. That will fix your problem. It will take 3 hours at 33.6 to download, so call back when it is done. 3 What? You’re not in front of the computer? Call back when you are. 2 Send it in. It’s broken. 1 Windows problem. Call Microsoft. - Discuss this post-
mac morons call in....they just got a g3 mac and contrary to popular opinion they are people so stupid they can't run a mac. these jokers cant even launch IE and are asking me how they get on the internet..."umm our service technicians test your connection before they leave the install so odds are your are online now" "how do we tell?" you are loading web pages and getting email where do you speculate this is comming from if not the internet?? the crack of your ass? i have em load like 25 pages before they admit (still suspicious) that they may be online. they cant find the hard drive, the IE, the OE, or the system folder..."Sir this is not a television you MAY have to spend some time learning to operate it" - Discuss this post- |
