The world is full of stupid people....

What happens when you take an Texan biker, and put him behind a tech support number?

You get tales of idiocy, or course...

One guy calls up...cant connet...i run him thru the whole deal and he cant get an ip..sounds like hes near the snapping point and about to FREAK OUT if he dosent get online...well DOH you didnt pay the BILL einstien..infact you have been cut off for over 3 months so why the big suprise?? and then hes worried about "critically important" email hes supposed to get ..so i ease his mind by telling him don't worry..your account is ERASED and you dont HAVE any email because your box is HISTORY...gone...nonexistant...and you have NO mail to get excited over? as usual hes gonna call a lawyer...like to see that holmes...do they ever read the fine print in the user agreements ??
posted by Hack Saw at 8:44 AM- Discuss this post-

people are really hardup for tech support...you'ed be amazed at how many call me to fix their copy of IE ,quicken,MS Office or whatever...its CABLE SUPPORT you MORONS!!! I wont FORMAT your machine or repair your apps!!! "oh your Roadrunner browser is crashing all the time" like WE have a browser??? they call every day CERTIAN that OUR copy of windows dosent work right since install....all we are is a damn connection no software is supplied....well except for the cute little Roadrunner cartoon dude logo in the IE top right corner...and EVERYONE seems to think thats somehow meaningful..."hes not running as fast as he used to"...or "i just installed AOL and my roadrunners GONE!!! I want it BACK!! take a valium bitch and deal with it we are not gonna repair animated gifs in your browser...i had some that FORMATTED just to get that little sucker back...they get attached to it...shit GET A LIFE please!! are you gonna call tech support..and wait on hold for maybe 2 hrs..because your little cartoon character is not in the corner?? yes by god hundreds DO and boy are they mad when i tell them they FUCKED UP and installed another browser-program that overwrote it.
posted by Hack Saw at 8:33 AM- Discuss this post-

all tech support has a calltime they must adhere to...ours is 12 minutes (ideally) and we are supposed to settle your problems in that time and shove your ass out the door...so ..of course...everyone that calls is a slavering moron either running a mac or win2000 on a 32mb laptop that takes 15 minutes to reboot..some have had pcs for 5 years blissfully ignorant of such modern ideas like defrag or scandisc...and all are running 1500 apps in their systray at bootup. One lady blamed us for making her pc slow...it was a 100 mhz gateway with 32 ram...running winme...i was so bored i went lightyears beyond my support boundries and had her run sysinfo to see just how many progs she was running at startup...34.....norton systemworks (all options enabled) realplayer,bonsai buddy,napster,outlook,mcafee AV,msn,icq,aol im,weatherbug,active desktop,stockticker and not one but 3 mp3 players..."thats a bit of a stretch on 32 mb mam..you might want to upgrade seeing as its 25 friggin dollars for 64mb or more now" btw she took so long to reboot after i disabled her wins resolution i had a smoke and coffee and came back she was not up yet
posted by Hack Saw at 6:42 PM- Discuss this post-

guy in tampa is mad....that our lousy equipment cant even take a little thing like a direct lightning strike...."oh yes sir by all means GO DSL..im sure the thousands of miles of copper line down there are more reliable than buried cable"
posted by Hack Saw at 6:29 PM- Discuss this post-

customer is having problems with a nic card...after exhaustive troubleshooting i discover its NOT in the pc...shes holding it in her hand talking to me and asking why her cable modem is not working...."my son had to changed the plug on that...it wouldnt fit into the phone jack"
posted by Hack Saw at 6:23 PM- Discuss this post-