The world is full of stupid people....

What happens when you take an Texan biker, and put him behind a tech support number?

You get tales of idiocy, or course...

now my idiot company has woken up and smelled the bacon...and is hiring like mad and filling classes with hopeless future techs..they brought out several the other day to sit with us and double-jack (listen to our calls) "here you sit with hacksaw hes one of the best we have maybe he can teach you how its done" so the nervous new guy asks me for tips...i tell em RUN NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND DON"T LOOK BACK
when they bring out new guys to show em our area all us "veterans" hassle them relentlessly...crys of 'FRESH MEAT!!" ring out and a bud of mine waves a custom made bottle of Texas Pete at them...its labeled "NEWBIE SAUCE" everyone does the "prarie dog" thing..heads pop up in cubes all over to see the new victims as they arrive for their sentance in hell. one fool surfed to porn sites on the FIRST DAY on the floor..he was canned about 20 min afterwards..jeez you would think he could wait to get home to see porno wouldn't ya. i surf like a maddog all day to keep from going insane..as the terrified customer..who has never SEEN the network settings..is sweating like a doctor in the emergency room doin a heart transplant tryin to remove his tcip...im readin slashdot, playing lotto,icqing, and sending email to friends all at once. after doing this for so long its all memorized and i know so well what the customer is doing some ask me "oh you can see my screen cant you" yes i see your screen sir and you have porn and gay sites bookmarked you should be ashamed. we dont see shit..but some are sure we do
posted by Hack Saw at 10:10 AM- Discuss this post-

you know...some people are just desperate for computer help...i get calls from people who cant boot their pc..like thats OUR fault? one lady had a gateway 166mhz..we are talkin a 7 year old pc...and had never even scandisked or defragged it. she emailed my supervisor and gave me a good review cause i "made it like new and saved her from buyin a new one" dozens ask for my home phone and offer ridiculous ammounts of money for help formatting..or setting up simple home networks..givin it to them is a major no-no as big brother is listening to almost every call i get. after a while you can hear the monitoring software kick in ..has a slight echoey sound as my call is being recorded..needless to say im polite and businesslike when i hear that...and when i dont im a bitch to some callers...i got brutal with an old man who took 10 minutes to find the fuckin control panel "you dont have to talk down to me i know a lot of things sonny" well you dont know shit about a pc buddy cause you are reduced to callin my worthless ass so shaddup and get the fuck with the program we havent got all week sir. when you call you are GOING OUT THE DOOR...if i can fix your problem great..if not you are still goin out the door..we are the McDonalds of tech support..heres your burger sir now go the hell on and annoy AOL support. I got a VAST list of other numbers..most i collected myself...to ditch customers.."ohh i know just whats the matter, call this number and they can help you" and tons of websites to send people to...its easier than actually helping anyone and we are graded on how fast we get RID of you anyway. "what? a bad nic driver? call netgear-microsoft-dell-gateway...whatever just dont call me.
posted by Hack Saw at 9:53 AM- Discuss this post-

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/storm2001/944631

posted by Hack Saw at 12:35 AM- Discuss this post-

so now my dumbass comapny has fired almost everyone..cause call volume was low...suprise ya bitches it aint low now...tripled in one week...nowhere NEAR enough agents on the floor to take all the calls...they BEG me to work overtime..adios ya ho's its quittin time and nothin short of guns and pit bulls chewin my nads is gonna make me work over at that hellpit...customers are in hold for up to 2 hrs in some cases just to verify email passwords and they are MAD. thats what management morons get for "scaling back to cut expenses".....today me and 20 other guys were doin support for 22 ENTIRE STATES...it was so bad that people overflowed the ques and even tho some waited hrs for a tech...others got msg "all techs are busy now plz call back later" some were offline for 2 weeks before they could even call in to REPORT it. still getting calls from houston where ppl are drying out from the worst flooding this CENTURY down that way...one guy got in a friggin canoe...paddled 6 miles...to working phone..to call and bitch to me about his GODDAMN BAD PING TIMES in some moronic online game!! must i bitchslap all these people manually and remind them they are in a fucking natural disaster of historic magnitude and that "their online services might be interrupted"
posted by Hack Saw at 12:28 AM- Discuss this post-